Pill Bugs and Armadillos

As I continue to look within to learn more about who I am, one thing is clear: I hate conflict. I think confict is the lowest form of human interaction. I am not talking about a debate on an issue. This is a constructive way to discuss and resolve issues. I'm talking about the senseless arguments, name calling, accusations and the like, that go on between people who say they "love" each other. Some people call it drama. I call it a travesty.

I avoid conflict like the plague. I will do whatever necessary to get out of a situation in which I am being threatened. I will lie if it is necessary. I will stay away from the person creating the drama. I am like one of those rolly pollies or pill bugs, that roll up into a protective ball when you touch it. Armadillos are the same way. They have that hard outer shell and soft insides. When these creatures feel threatened they go into defense mode. Of course if someone decideds to squash them, nothing they do is doing to help.

So I am trying to get to the root of my conflict avoidance. Do I not value myself enough to stand up for what I think is right? Am I just so much of a "lover" and not a "fighter" that I do this. Is there a time for peace and a time for war? These are the questions I am asking myself at present. I don't have the answers yet.