Today I remembered something about myself that I need to keep in mind. I am a hopeless romantic. I know that my marriage is over, but there were things in our relationship that were really good. I went by her office today just to chat, and we both talked about the things we miss. Being a hopeless romantic means that you can imagine all sorts of scenarios. Like falling in love again. Well next time I do something stupid, someone slap me in the face; or pour a bucket of ice water on my head. It became very obvious to me during our conversation that there is no way on earth that we could ever get together again.
So now I must continue on my search for me and what will bring happiness and fulfillment. Please don't give me the line about how God will be all you need. Have you noticed that it's people who have someone that usually tell you that; or someone who has no chance at love. Sorry, I'm being cruel. Let's just be honest, we are designed to be connected intimately with someone else. The problem is there are so many potential people that I could fall for, but I'm still comparing them to my ex. I guess that would be normal. I really don't have any other reference point. When you fall in love at 18 and are married at 19 and married for 28 years, it doesn't give you musch else to compare with.
In the mean time, I will just have to keep trying to be the best me I can. Someone will take notice someday. I think that love is such a rare and precious thing, that we grasp for it whenever it presents itself. Even if it's just an illusion; a mirage; a spectre. This is why so many make bad choices in their relationships.
I guess we are all hopeless romantics to some degree.
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The desire we have to be intimate with others, be it romantic or purely friendship, is irrefutable. The first thing God did after He created the universe is create man and woman and purpose them to be together "as one". You are a hopeless romantic because God made you that way. He didn't create that desire in you in vain. He will deliver. As for the whole "God being all we need" part, I think what people mean is that God is in control and He is faithful to provide, therefore, He is all we need because He's the one that makes "it" happen. We must first desire him and his plans above all else and learn to be satisfied with what we have. If we can't be satisfied with what He's given us to begin with we won't be satisfied at all. He cannot deliver unless we are submitted. Choose His path, it will not disappoint. I pray He opens your eyes to the blessings of the season that is here and now.
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